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What factors influence the success of an arranged marriage? In our culture, arranged marriages are common. It’s not that you’ve given up on love; you simply couldn’t find it on your own and now all you need is a little assistance from your family and friends. This does not make you any less cool; you simply need to know what you are looking for in a guy, what qualities, what characteristics, and then dive in. Most people we know are unafraid of getting married in an arranged marriage.

It could be because they haven’t found anyone and leave the search for a partner to their parents, or it could be because their parents are overly concerned with finding their children a match on their own. Whatever it is, the concept of an arranged marriage is very clear in India, and spending your entire life with a stranger does not appear to be a strange phenomenon to many!

But before you start looking for the perfect match for yourself, there are a few things you should consider. It’s easy to become perplexed by the circus of looking at different women and picking one out of many, or by your parents simply asking you to marry the next boy they find you as your dear uncle recommended. There can be a variety of situations, but you must focus on what you want and what you are looking for in a boy.

Are you planning to get married to a partner chosen by your family or relatives? Read our do’s and don’ts before you take the plunge.

DO’s

Takes time to find ‘The One’

Looking for a suitable match, meeting them, and getting to know them will all take time because arranged marriages are time-consuming. Furthermore, it is a person your family is introducing to you, which can take time. Families will be involved from the start, and you will need to be aware of some boundaries.

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Set a timeline

Setting a timeline is critical unless you’re in a hurry to get married! Setting a timeline entails choosing a partner through a matrimonial site or through an arrangement made by your parents and allowing the other person plenty of time before marriage to get to know each other better. It’s only fair if you don’t know anything about the person! You can spend a lot of quality time together getting to know each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, and other important details. If at all possible, try to live together for a while. It will undoubtedly reveal a great deal about the other person.

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Be open about your past 

Because it is an arranged marriage, your partner will be unaware of your past, so it is best to be open about it in case there is something important your partner needs to know. You can, of course, start with a blank slate, telling each other that the past doesn’t matter and laying everything out on the table. However, knowing about each other’s past gives you a glimpse into the other person’s life and allows you to get to know them much better through this exercise. It’s a great way to build any kind of relationship as long as you’re not both pretending to be someone else.

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Be honest with your potential husband

If you’ve been in a relationship with someone before getting married, you already know what they expect from you and what they don’t. You’re as clueless as he is in an arranged marriage. So it’s a good idea to lay all your cards on the table and discuss what you and your partner expect from each other. Discussing children, future goals, career options, and your finances are also essential, it should be discussed before you marry because it helps to map your partner’s needs and wants for a fuller, more successful marriage.

Financial compatibility is a significant factor in today’s society, and it would have been significant even if the marriage had not been arranged. By financial compatibility, I mean that your financial stability should be flexible and compatible with each other. It does not imply that you should earn more than he does or that he should earn more. It simply means that there should be financial equality.

Compatibility

One of the most important factors to consider before entering into an arranged marriage is whether or not both of you are emotionally compatible, and whether or not you find your partner attractive. It is essential to have emotional and physical compatibility for the marriage to be successful. 

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Spend time with his family

They say that when you marry someone in India, you also marry their family. As a result, it is critical to spend adequate time with family. If you believe you can adjust around them and they treat you well, and you get along well, this is a clear green flag. Remember that you will have to deal with his family for the rest of your life, so get to know them as well as she does.

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DONT’s 

Don’t act under pressure

Societal expectations may be putting additional strain on your situation. Make no hasty decisions or choose your partner without first thinking it through. Talk about your options with friends or people you trust. Keep in mind that arranged marriages are not forced unions. If your parents disagree, try discussing your reservations with them and reasoning things out with them.

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Be dishonest

To have a successful marriage, you must be honest and committed. Never lie about your social and financial status or your relationship history with your partner. It has the potential to cause a number of issues in the future. Lying opens the door to suspicion and betrayal, and it is detrimental to a healthy marital life. Sometimes, you might hesitate to share a particular subject, initially, rather inform them you will tell them at your convenience instead of lying to them. Your marriage will be as healthy as the transparency of your relationship. 

Encroach on personal space

Allow your spouse some time and space to open up once you’re together. Do not mistake their silence or shyness for lack of interest. Make a safe space for both of you to express your thoughts and feelings. Recognize and appreciate what they share with you on a regular basis. Supporting and communicating openly with one another reduces the possibility of misunderstanding. Avoid judging them instead encourage them when they say something personal because it can be hard to share personal details. 

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Shy away from taking advice

Please feel free to seek advice from those who may be able to assist you. Talking to someone with a lot of experience or who has a different perspective on the situation can be beneficial at times. So, make him meet your extended family and your friends’ circle. They will be able to give you a perspective about whether or not the guy is right for you. 

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Now that you’ve learned the dos and don’ts of finding your perfect match through an arranged scenario, you can delve into it right away, assuming you’re ready. You won’t be as perplexed. If you found this article useful, please share it with a friend who is looking for rishtas but is unsure how to proceed. What are the points you could relate to the most? Mention in the comments section.

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Shweta Modi

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